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A Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon story
by Benjamin A. Oliver

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon is owned by Takeuchi Naoko, Koudansha, TV Asahi, and Toei Douga, and DIC.

Chapter 3

Given Jadeite's defeat— and what would happen to him if that happened too often— one would think that he would have changed his tactics, gone for more subtle ways of accomplishing his goals. But, knowing Jadeite…

"Yes, Queen Beryl," Jadeite said, bowing before her, "I have set in motion a plan that is sure to work."

"Continue, Jedite," Queen Beryl said. Jadeite winced at how badly she pronounced his name.

"Anyway, I've decided to step up my work. I had planned to save this for later, but—"

"What is it, Jedite?" Beryl snapped.

Jadeite winced again. "You've rejected all my plans so far, so I've decided to forget the whole thing and settle for using computers to drain little schoolgirls," he said dejectedly.

Beryl considered it. "Excellent idea, Jedite."

Jadeite sighed and disappeared.

Terra had gotten up on time today and hadn't needed to make a spectacle of herself running to class. Serena, on the other hand, was a few minutes late. However, since this was a DIC-based continuity, she was only marked tardy, and not forced to stand outside holding buckets of water. Though she might have wished she had, considering that there was a test that she hadn't studied for on that particular day.

"Not another one!" Serena whined.

"Yes, another one," Ms. Haruna said. "By the way, we have a new student: Amy Anderson."

Outside, a cat on the windowsill sensed something.

"She could be from the Negaverse," Luna said.

"Oh, could be, could be. Either that or somethin' else," Arby said.

"Oh? Such as?" Luna asked.

"A princess from Mercury, maybe…" Arby considered.

"You're saying that we've found another Sailor Scout?" Luna asked, almost remembering something.

"Or a Senshi, or a Soldier— or if we're very lucky, a Sailor Commando," Arby replied.

"Sailor Commando?! Where do you get these things?" Luna asked incredulously.

"Mail orda' catalog."

"I should have known," Luna said, rolling her eyes.

"So, 'ow did that li'l red'ead snoot get ta be a princess?" Arby asked out of a concentration exercise— balancing on his head.

"Terra…? I… don't really remember. I seem to have lost quite a bit of memory from— *WHAM!* " Luna's dialog broke off when Arby clocked her on the head with a Heavy Blunt Object™. "Ouch! What was that for?!"

[It was a good thing that everyone inside was concentrating on a test, or they'd have been amused by the sight. We can't have that, now, can we? It simply wouldn't be proper!]

"It's me patented boppem-on-the-head mem'ry inducer," Arby said cheerfully. "Did it work?"

Luna began to shake her head at this… until memories actually began to flow back into her active mind.

"It looks like it…" Luna said, becoming absorbed in the memory and relating the events that she remembered.

In any case, she was glad to be talking about something other than Arby's not-so-latent mushroom obsession.

~~~ A Long Time Ago, In A Kingdom Far, Far Away ~~~

"It knew exactly where to hit us," Luna said, pointing out the horrendous damage the attack had dealt to Pluto and Saturn, rendering the Senshi from those worlds unable to help when the battle came to the Moon.

All of the outer Senshi except for Saturn were visiting Pluto at the time. Saturn had not survived the assault. Luna had taken temporary command of the situation.

"We still managed to stop it," Artemis said.

Luna stared at Artemis incredulously. "Barely!" she said. "Aside from the combined fleets of the solar system being totally wiped out, all the Senshi were incapacitated! It will be weeks before they OR Queen Serenity will be able to stand, much less defend anything! We're wide-open for anything that chooses to attack us now."

"First Advisor Luna, we know all this; but what are you suggesting we do about it?" a high-ranking military officer asked. There were signs of agreement from around the room.

"Well, what has been done to the girl?" Luna asked. During the aftermath of the attack, the former beast had become known simply as 'the girl'.

"Incarceration. She's under our best lockdown, anti-magic warded, etcetera. We're not taking ANY chances on this one. For all we know, she summoned that demon and turned herself into it. It's been known to happen," one person said.

"She could have been transformed against her will," another commented.

"By who?"

"I'll bet it was those pirates on Nemesis!"

"No! It's the Earthlings. I know a queen of a smaller province that practices demonology."

"Beryl? She's harmless! I've met her. She can't even pronounce my name right!"

"Who was it, then?"

"It was probably someone from outside the Solar System…"

"AHEM!" Luna cleared her throat, silencing the discussion. "Has anyone tried to ask her what exactly happened?"

"No. She hasn't regained consciousness yet."

"Have we tried telepathic contact yet?" Luna asked.

"No. All our telepaths have been far too busy treating shellshock."

"Can we call one of them up?" Luna asked.

"No. This shellshock is really bad. REALLY bad. The only reason you're not working on it is that you're needed to coordinate this," Artemis said.

"Are things that bad?" Luna asked.

"Oh yeah! I've taken a look around. It's not pretty," Artemis replied.

"Then it's up to me, it seems. Perhaps then we can find out exactly what caused this, and if we can expect another attack…" Luna said.

~Can you hear me?~ Luna sent through the telepathic link she'd established.

There was no response. The entire mind seemed quiet. Luna decided to go for a deeper, more complex link.

The mental imagery opened to the scene of a battlefield. This was no simple ground battle. It was filled with destroyed machinery, and the sky was full of broken, metallic structures. It was dark. The battle seemed to be over. This mind was REALLY bad off. There seemed to be no survivors.

Luna applied a mental healing ability on the scene, in hopes of getting anything.

Then, a lone, broken figure of indeterminate shape rose from the ashes of the battlefield and shambled toward Luna's mental location. It stopped a short distance away.

~This… I… am… sorry…~ it managed to force out in a soft, dry voice. Luna didn't know exactly how to interpret this, but it seemed to be an apology, but it wasn't clear exactly for what.

~What do you mean?~ Luna asked. The dark figure moved to a side of a cliff and pointed into the distance. Scenes of the surprise attacks on Pluto, the battle with Sailor Saturn, the decimation of the fleet, and the fight on the Moon were shown in a first person view.

~Not… mean.. to.. I.. did.. not.. understand.. why…~ it tried to force out. It looked extremely downtrodden, and wasn't going to last long. Luna was unable to tell whether it was trying to apologize for something it did or didn't do, but that it WAS trying to make reparations of some sort.

~Will it happen again? Will there be any more attacks?~ Luna asked. A scene of a few smaller ships launching from deep within Jupiter and moving toward the Moon flashed by.

~Yes… pre… programmed. Cannot… stop,~ it said, crumbling. Luna felt a sense of foreboding.

~When?~Luna asked.

~Three… days…~ It managed to say before collapsing into a black ash.

Luna looked around to notice that the entire area was dissolving.

Luna instantly applied her mental healing ability, slowing, and finally stopping the fade. She tried, but was unable to do more. Not being able to get any more information, or help any further, she took a final look around and closed the link.

Soon after Luna left to get whatever defense could be made arranged, the girl's mind instinctively copied Luna's psychic repair. Though under extreme anti-magic warding, she was able to apply it internally, although it went very slowly.

Within a day she was able to comprehend.

By the second day, she had repaired half the damage and had reestablished her how and why of existence.

The next day, she regained consciousness.

The girl awoke to the sight of the cell. There were two guards. One left to inform whoever was in charge at the time that 'the girl' was now awake.

Due to the shock she experienced through the past few days, she began to talk aloud to herself.

"The backup fighters will be here in less than an hour!" she urgently said to herself.

"Wow! Your mind was totally obliterated and you can still remember time?" she asked, still seemingly to herself.

"Yeah. Quiet," she replied, annoyed.

"There is a more pressing matter at hand. You worked the defensive capabilities over pretty thoroughly on your grand entrance. Do you think they will be able to handle this on their own?" the young redhead asked herself seriously.

"They might be able to take out a few of them, but they'll be wiped out for certain when the second wave comes in."

"How many waves are there?"


"Perhaps I should take this conversation inside. The guard's starting to look at me kinda funny."

"Excellent idea. Mister guard-person-lady-ma'am or whatever you are, don't mind me; ask… that black cat…" she said, pausing as she searched her memory, "…Luna… why I'm acting like this. Mental shockwave. Extremely painful. Want to try it? It's fun!"

The guard raised an eyebrow and shook his head.

"Okay. Don't worry. I'm not trying to break out and wreak havoc upon the world's inhabitants," the little shackled girl said. The guard looked shocked. "Betcha didn't think I knew you were thinking that, didja? Well, it was a lucky guess anyway. I get that a lot."

"Or do I?" she asked herself.

"No, you don't. This would be your first day that you've been asked anything whatsoever," she replied.

"The guard's still looking at me funny. I wanted this conversation mental, remember?"

"Seems pretty 'mental' to me," she observed.

"Not that kind of 'mental'!" the apparent nine-year-old yelled at herself semi-cutely.

"You know! MENTAL, pretty funny, huh?" she said to the guard. The guard didn't respond.

"Anyway, could you excuse me?" she asked the guard. The guard shrugged in a confused way. The girl's expression became extremely concentrated. After about a minute of this, she began to look annoyed.

She broke out of her arm restraints.

"Shut up! Shut up! Everyone just SHUT UP!!!" she screamed, pounding on her head. After a little of this, she noted the guard in a defensive stance. "Oh, sorry. Internal conflict. I think I may need to get an overhaul sometime. But anyway, can I speak to whoever is in charge?"

The guard continued to look confused, since, for some reason, the girl's last two lines came out as, "I need my brain replaced. Could you please get some jumperey cables and start the car?" The guard's hard trained years of keeping a calm mind crumbled under the confusion that almost radiated from the girl.

"What the…?! Kid, I'm trying to guard you here, so can you stay quiet?!" the guard said in exasperation.

"Oh, quiet. I can give you quiet. See? I'm being quiet, aren't I?"

"Yes, I am, see? I'm quiet. Are you quiet?"

"Yes, I'm quiet."

"AAAAAUUUUGGHHHH!!" The guard yelled in confused annoyance, turning around, accidentally running into the wall…

*WHAM!!!* HARD. The guard fell unconscious.

"Told ya. Guards aren't any fun. They fall right over," the girl said to herself.

Snapping the remaining restraints and breaking off the anti-magic wards, she set the guard into a more comfortable position, took the keys, and walked right out the door.

"See those?" A commander said to his men. "Here they come!"

The first wave came in. It consisted of fifteen fighters. They were black and had a spherical central position with a strut on either side that connected to vertical, hexagonal panels.

They made a screaming sound as they came in.

Ground forces employed small, cannon-like devices. It was really all they had left after the first attack that had a chance of stopping these things.

The fighters broke into five groups of three, going in different directions, firing small green beams onto the landscape.

The ground forces fired their cannons, taking half the fighters from each group on the first volley.

The fighters exploded on contact with the cannon fire.

The three remaining "halves" crashed to the ground, exploding. [Hey, half a tie fighter isn't all that helpful, is it?]

The shots from the fighters impacted buildings that had been evacuated in preparation for the battle, knocking in a few walls.

The cannon went for another round, destroying all but one fighter.

The remaining fighter shifted its target to the ground forces. It targeted one cannon in particular.

The cannon fired one shot and missed.

Green laser fire exploded around the cannon.

The next shot hit!

And the crowd goes wild! There was much rejoicing in the land!

Until, that is, they noticed the second wave. This group was different. There were six this time, and they were a great deal worse. They looked almost alive, being spiked on the front and moving with a sense of determination.

These also made a screaming sound as they attacked, but it was not any ordinary scream. It struck terror into even some of the most hardened troops. They all dove for cover as the ships opened fire, focusing concentrated beams of purple energy over the landscape, tearing gouges into the ground. The battle seemed lost.

The girl stepped out into the open.

"Okay, so maybe my timing's a little off," she whispered to herself.

"In any case, it's time to get to work," she told herself.

"Make it spectacular and they may decide to forgive you," she noted.

"Telepathic Shockwave, ENFLAME!" she called dramatically, her voice echoing across the landscape as she duplicated the energy that had previously destroyed her mind, amplifying it with her own energy, causing the effect to ripple toward the ships.

The troops looked to her location, following the ripple.

It touched two of the ships, frying their processors and causing them to fold up and crumble like dead bugs.

The other three shifted and faded from view before the ripple hit them.

They reappeared in the sky behind the girl. She spun around to face them.

"Planetary Magnetic Field, DEFEND!" she called, raising a shield, absorbing the impact of the purple beams from the ships as they fired. Analyzing the energy of the weapons, she smiled as she created her own version, calling out something adapted from something she'd learned from her encounter with the Sailor Senshi.

"Stellar Particle Beam, THRASH!" She had determined, from her knowledge download, that this was how the bigger fights were to be held. You called out something impressive, and then pounded the enemy to smithereens. She liked the last part especially.

The intensified beam hit one of the ships, forcing it to stop until a hole was drilled neatly through, then it crumbled like the other two.

The final vessels swung around for another run.

"Okay, the last ones. No others?"

"This is it."

"Time to impress 'em."

"Might as well."

"STELLAR QUANTUM-PHASE MOLECULAR DISINTEGRATION!!!" She yelled, holding out her arms, focusing her energy into a large sphere, the likes of which would have made a Sayajin raise an eyebrow and cough nervously.

The girl released the sphere into the sky, tearing into the ships, leaving no trace of them.

The blast dissipated just after it destroyed the ships. The girl seemed almost shocked that it was gone so quickly. She was also surprised at how weak she felt after throwing it.

"There (pant) went (pant) the last (pant) of my reserves," she said with some regret, panting at the effort.

"No more casual planet destruction, I guess. Oh well, that was getting boring anyway," she said to herself.

"No it wasn't! I enjoyed it!"

"Don't go blabbing that around…"

"Oh well. But… how'd I do?"

"Not bad… They just might not kill me now."

"That was fun… How about I take five now? Fine?"


The girl fell backwards to the ground with a thump.

~~~ Back to the Future ~~~

"And after that, Terra stayed with the Moon Kingdom, and she did a couple more amazing things in the next few months. She apparently had no family, and she was so very well behaved, too. With that in mind, and some other events that happened, Queen Serenity decided to adopt her," Luna said then added, "Yes, she was such a nice girl. Much like she is now…"

Arby was snoring soundly.

"Arby? Have you been listening?" Luna asked.

"Eh? Wot?" Arby said, shaking himself awake.

"Did you hear anything I said?"

"Oh, yeah. Terra was a monster, then she wasn't, so she broke out and blew stuff up, and the Queen loiked explosions, so she adopted 'er," Arby said.

Luna shrugged. "Close enough," she said. "But back on the subject. Amy Anderson. She could be from the Negaverse."

"I say she's a Sailor Somethin'," Arby said.

Luna sighed. "She could be, I suppose. We need to tell the Scouts to keep an eye on her, though."

"Alroight, we can do that, then," Arby concluded in his usual European-Irish-English-Scottish accent.

YES! I did it! I did it! Atomic Starlight Knight thought to himself.

Did what?

Expanded the link!

Great! What does it do? he asked. There was no response.

Come on, What does it do?

I… um… don't know.

How do we know if it did anything?

Go watch, I guess…

After Terra and Serena were free, Luna and Arby explained the situation to them. As soon as they got through the explanation, they had a feeling that something was going on in a classroom…

"You need to get in, but you need to go unnoticed," Luna said, then did a backflip. A small pen materialized and fell to the ground. "This is the Luna Pen." She went on to give instructions on how to use it.

"Okay," Serena said. "Disguise Power, change me into… a school superintendent!" She changed into a taller woman, wearing more formal attire. "Cool!"

"Wait… what do I get, then?" Terra asked Arby in a nice, suspicious way.

"Oh, um, let me see…" Arby said, starting to fly, doing a series of mid-air flips, causing a mushroom to materialize and fall to the ground. "'Aven't got anything." Luna rolled her eyes. Serena had already gone inside. Terra looked as happy, as usual.

"I'm sorry. We don't have anything to give you," Luna said.

"Wait, I felt something happen while Serena changed," Terra said, thinking, It was almost as if I could tell what was going on with the magic from the pen. She decided to attempt something.

"Disguise Power, change me into… something inconspicuous!" Terra said brightly.

Serena, still in disguise, barged into the computer room, followed by Luna.

"All right, stop right there!" she said commandingly.

Several students looked up, while others were too busy having their energy drained by their computers. [Sound familiar?]

"Excuse me, can I help you with anything?" Amy asked. The last of the students collapsed.

Serena, seeing that Amy was the only one left standing, she concluded that Amy must have drained the energy.

"Yes, you can stop your evil ways and return that energy!" Serena said, "Moon Prism Power!"

Standard Obligatory Sailor Moon transformation sequence, Make Up!

She made her speech…

"I am Sailor Moon, Champion of Justice! I right wrongs and triumph over evil, and that means YOU, Negascum!"

It was more or less at that point that the monster of the week chose to make its appearance…

The class's teacher morphed into a scary youma-monster-thingy, grabbing Sailor Moon and slamming her to the side. It then went for Amy, not saying a word.

The symbol for Mercury glowed on Amy's forehead. Luna saw it and went over to her.

"Arby was right!" Luna said in joyful surprise.

The blue-haired girl looked down at the cat in shock. "Um… did you just speak?"

Sailor Moon stood, leaping and kicking out at the approaching youma, knocking it back slightly. "Hey, I can fight these things, no problem!"

The dark-furred cat nodded at Amy. "Yes, I did! And you're Sailor Mercury!"

The youma recovered and slashed out at its opponent, who judiciously decided that dodging and panicking would be the best course of action. "AAAAH! I take that back!"

Amy blinked, looking down at the talking cat. "No… Actually, I'm Amy Anderson. Nice to meet you."

"Well, nice to meet you, too, but we've got a battle to win!" Luna said, executing a perfect backflip, causing a small, pen-shaped device to materialize. "Here, take this!"

The slightly confused girl picked up the object. "What should I do with it?"

Sailor Moon ducked a particularly nasty blow, which cut deeply into the wall.

"Say 'Mercury Power'!" Luna told Amy.

The girl in question shrugged. "Mercury… Power!"

A blue glow surrounded Amy. Water rippled and formed her regulation mini-skirted sailor suit. Her skirt and bows were blue.

Sailor Mercury instantly seemed to know what was going on. "Mercury Bubbles… BLAST!"

Mist built up in the area.

"WHAT?!" the youma shouted, searching for its combatants.

This gave Sailor Moon time to recover. She stood and began her attack.

"Moon Tiara Magic!"

Poof! Instant youma dust.

The fog cleared.

Jadeite appeared.

"It seems that you are more troublesome than I thought," Jadeite said, contemplating the two girls. "Perhaps it would be best to simply eliminate you here."

Jadeite held up his hand to toss an energy blast.

A green blur smashed out of the ventilation duct, grabbing Jadeite and throwing him through a wall.

"Starlight Knight?" Sailor Moon began to hope.

"Oh my," The person dressed in a green ninja outfit said in a high voice, looking at what they had accomplished.

"Sailor Earth?" Sailor Moon said confusedly.

Outside, Jadeite prepared to go back in, but was tapped on the shoulder by someone.

"Jadeite!" Atomic Starlight Knight said cheerfully, fading in.

Jadeite turned around. As soon as he did, a snarl crept onto his lips. "You…" he said with heavy malice, narrowing his eyes.

"That's right. Me. You thought I died along with the rest of the Moon Kingdom, didn't you? Well, I'm baaaack!" A.S.K. said, smiling.

*BLAAAAAM!!!* An energy blast impacted directly into the black-haired knight's chest armor, knocking him back into— or rather THROUGH— a tree.

"THAT was for my humiliation in front of the entire solar system!" Jadeite said, his voice seething with malice as he advanced for another blow.

"Hey, that wasn't {UNGH!} supposed to happen!" A.S.K. said, pushing the tree off of himself. "How was I supposed to know that you were going to a conference afterwards? I thought you were going to a party!"

"So you were going to humiliate me at a PARTY, were you?!"

*KABLAAAM!* The general blasted his target once more, throwing him back several yards.

"Ow! That really hurt, you know," A.S.K. said, standing and patting down the smoking patches of his armor.

"Good. But WHY AREN'T YOU DEFENDING YOURSELF?!" Jadeite asked, wanting more fight to his revenge.

"That's a good question, you know… LIGHTNING ATTACK!" A.S.K. shouted, blasting Jadeite with a bolt of lightning. He wasn't fazed. "Stellar Circlet Disintegration!"

Jadeite caught the circlet, crushing it in his hand. "Is that the best you can do?!" Jadeite asked.

"No… But… Oh, all right, you talked me into it… STELLAR QUANTUM-PHASE MOLECULAR DISINTEGRATION!"

Jadeite appeared before Queen Beryl, patting down flames and wiping off the soot from his uniform.

"Where is the energy, Jedite?" Beryl asked testily.

"There… have been a few setbacks, my Queen," Jadeite said, fingering the big red bruise on his cheek.

"If these 'setbacks' last much longer, Jedite, I will have to replace you," Beryl said.

"NO, Queen Beryl, that will not be necessary," the shorthaired blonde general said defensively.

"It had better not be."

Jadeite took that blast head on and escaped! Atomic Starlight Knight thought to himself in surprise.

In the old days, that shot could have taken out the better portion of a small planet!

Yeah, this seems to be getting to be more of a challenge than I originally anticipated.

What to do now?


Too weak, I think…

What I really need to do is upgrade Sailor Moon.

…Sailor Moon? What about me?

That IS me, baka!

…Baka? What's that?

Humph. I'm not talking to you!

AHEM! Back on topic, how does one upgrade a human?

Genetic mutations! LOTS and LOTS of genetic mutations!

Hmm, let me think about that one—


Um… Okay, no mutating sweet little girls into nine-foot-tall powerhouses, so… How about I bring in her Senshi form and charge that up with 100% pure electricity?

Works for me. Senshi forms upgrade easily… I think. But don't you have to go through some sort of traumatic, character-developing situation for that to happen?

Isn't being blasted by a billion volts traumatic?

Good point…

And… Now's a good a time as any to do that…

What about the others?

Hey, I've only got ten advanced fusion reactors. There's only so much I can do with that.

Perhaps later, then…

The Sailor Scouts had left the scene of the attack and were about to de-transform when the Starlight Knight appeared in front of them.

"Starlight Knight!" Sailor Moon said joyfully.

"Yes, Sailor Moon," Starlight Knight said, then turned to the other Sailor Senshi. "I need to speak to her alone, does anyone mind?" They shrugged. "Excellent." Then he disappeared, along with Sailor Moon.

"What's that about?" Sailor Mercury asked.

"I haven't the foggiest," Luna said.

"'Ello! 'Ow are you?" Arby asked, fluttering up to Sailor Mercury.

Mercury blinked and rubbed her eyes, just to make sure that she was seeing what she was seeing. "What… what are you?!"

A talking cat from an ancient magical kingdom was one thing, but a talking camouflage-patterned, green seal-like creature that fluttered around like a hummingbird was… Well, it was something… Scary, that is…

"I'm an ArbyFish!" Arby said proudly. He looked at Mercury. "What are you? Who do you want? Where are you, here? Why are you going…?"

Sailor Mercury had begun to back off a bit. She blinked at the questions she had been asked. "I… don't know…"

"Oh, well then," Arby said, fluttering up to sit on her head. He leaned down to look into her eyes. "Ya see, it's loike a clock…" He leaned back and forth like a pendulum. "Tick tock, tick tock… Tick, you're a pret'y Senshi, tock… you're a 'am sandwich. Are you closer to tick, or are ya closa' ta tock?"

The blue-haired girl blinked. "Er… Closer to tick, I would hope…"

Arby nodded. "'Ope… Is all you 'ave." He began to flutter off. "I actually think you'd look betta' as a 'am sandwich…"

"What's he talking about?" Mercury whispered to Luna.

The moon cat shrugged helplessly.

The tall, black-haired, green-armored knight took a deep breath and prepared to explain what he had planned on doing. "You know, Sailor Moon, the interesting thing about the Sailor Senshi—"

"Scouts," Sailor Moon corrected.

"—Right. Anyway, the interesting thing about them is that they recharge so quickly. Put a little energy into them, and they're back up to full in no time. One of the other interesting things about them is that if you put a LOT of energy into them, they start being able to handle a great deal more," the Starlight Knight continued, preparing some electric equipment.

"Um, yeah… but what does that have to do with me?" Sailor Moon asked, wondering why Starlight Knight had brought her here.

"I'll show you. Please hold onto these… Thank you," S.K. said, giving Sailor Moon a thick cable in each hand. S.K. moved over to a very old-style switch. "Now, don't be alarmed."

Sailor Moon looked at the cables in her hands uneasily. "Um, this isn't going to hurt, is it?"

"Come to think of it… The equivalent of about eight trillion volts coursing through your body…? It just might!" S.K. said thoughtfully, throwing the switch.

~~~ One extremely painful electrocution later ~~~

"Now, how do you feel?" Starlight Knight asked.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Sailor Moon began, but stopped when she noticed that she didn't really feel that bad. "Wait… what just happened?"

"Here, catch," S.K. said, tossing a ball that was labeled '3 TONS' in deeply chiseled lettering.

Sailor Moon 'eeped', but easily caught the ball in one hand.

"As you see, I've upgraded your abilities as a… Scout," S.K. said.

Sailor Moon was noticing how easily she could move the ball, then something occurred to her. "Cool… Hey, this isn't some kinda trick, is it?"

"No, of course not," S.K. said.

"How do I know that?" Sailor Moon asked.

"If you don't believe me, then… Punt me across the room! Come on, do it, do it!" S.K. said playfully. "You know you want to!"


"Oh, please? Okay, pretend I just said that your mother was a hamster, or that your father smelt of elderberries, or that I just insulted your hairstyle. Yeah! Your hairstyle! MEATBALL HEAD! MEATBALL HEAD! MEATBALL HEA—"

*WHAM!* Sailor Moon obliged.

"Nice shot," S.K. said weakly, imbedded half a foot deep into the steel wall on the opposite side of the room.

Sailor Moon covered her mouth in shock. "Oh! I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry!"

"Yes, I caN SAfeLY SaY ThaT YouR POWers were upgraded," S.K. said, staggering out of the dent he was in. He walked over to Sailor Moon, who was looking at him, worried if she hurt him.

S.K. smiled at her. "Come on, let's get you home."

Sailor Moon reappeared in front of the others.

"So what was that all about?" Luna asked.

"He—" Sailor Moon began, appearing to be in shock.

"He what?" Amy asked.

"—was dreamy!" Sailor Moon finished, collapsing into a fantasizing 'heart-eyes' state.

Luna and Amy looked at each other and sweatdropped.

Arby chuckled in a snake-like manner.

Terra just continued smiling…


[End Chapter 3.]

[Sailor Sez]

"Today, we learned that if you're cute…"

"…you can get away with ANYTHING!!!"

"So, remember: Cuteness isn't a natural trait. It's a survival tactic. Sailor Chibi-Nuke sez…"


Chapter 4
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